Blue is the mind and terrible is the weather :/

I'm in LA today and it is pouring, pretty much ruined my plans. I wanted to walk around the UCLA campus but that isn't going to work out with the thunder storms rolling in and lighting.  Top it all off, I am feeling "thicker" even though I have been working out and trying to put constraints on what I eat.  Binging can really fuck up a person.  Not eating fucks you up...period.  I'm make myself slowly go insane. If I don't lose the weight that I want to lose, I will go crazy.

I unfortunately have a slip-up and binged/purged again. Ever get a feeling after you purge like there is gas in your stomach?  I also know that I did not get all the shit out of my body.  The laxative tea doesn't seem to be working anymore too.  I have become even more aware of my body and hate every single part that is in excess.