Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Saturday, December 11, 2010
I have been going to the gym everyday for the past week, trying to start eating normally and not binge/purge. But yesterday I slipped up and purged. But today, so far has been good, no purging yet and the day is almost done. I have been studying for my chemistry final that is on Monday. I also have a Japanese skit (final part III) on Monday too so that is shit. After my workout this evening I weighted myself on the scale there and it said 143....fml I am hoping that since it was at night and not in the morning, my weight is slightly lower than that. I think I am going to wake up early tomorrow morning and go to the gym again, just to check my weight and measure my height too.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Sipping a steaming hot cup of vanilla chai and laxative teas, while staring at a small pile of orange peels and my stomach rumbling because I purged. My throat is dry..sore...and I can't seem to understand why I can't stop myself. The uncontrollable urge..burying me. I feel as if I am about to go insane. Finals are coming up too and if I don't do well in them, well lets just hope that doesn't happen. I feel the need to eat in the evening. The worst possible time to eat anything at all. All I want to do now is cause pain...
I think she is the most beautiful person I have seen. I want to look exactly like her.